This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Randomize
