Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
