yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
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