there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Randomize