I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Randomize
