He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
