So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Its about making memories worth repressing
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
