Your mouth is God's brothel.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
