I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
