So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Randomize