Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
