Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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