4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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