I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Randomize
