Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
