I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
