She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
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