One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize
