At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
he fucked my hip out of place.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
Randomize