You're my little dorito
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize