I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
ok first of all what the fuck
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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