So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
How external is "for external use only"?
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
I love you. Go after that dick
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize