you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize
