I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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