That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Someone shattered a urinal.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
