Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
