you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Randomize
