Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
