Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
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