how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
I need to calm my uterus...
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Randomize
