you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
