I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
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