Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Randomize
