I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
Randomize
