If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
