69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
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