i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
