dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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