I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
