How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Randomize
