I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
My hand turned me down
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Randomize
