You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
