There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Randomize
