I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Randomize
