You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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