taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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