I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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