i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
