making cat noises will not fix the situation.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Randomize
