Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Randomize
