yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Randomize
