remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
