I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
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