The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
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