So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
how does that bad decision feel?
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize
