Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize