I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Randomize
