with your own penis?
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize
