am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
