Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
Randomize
