OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
