maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
I need water and some morals
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Randomize
