what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Randomize
