We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
