Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I don't usually arrange sex via text message
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
