Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
I am midnight drunk by noon
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
